The Mirror and the Afterlife
by FerretScar
Summary: (Read and Review!) Harry Potter became cold. He wanted to know more about this mirror. Draco Malfoy wanted to help. He wanted to... help... and... to... do more...


Title: The Mirror and the Afterlife  
  
Author: Ferret Scar  
  
Pairing: HP/DM Rating: PG-13  
  
Category: Angst, Dark  
  
Archive: Here. If you want to archive it, please ask.  
  
Disclaimer: HP ain't mine.  
  
Summary: Harry looks for Sirius and Draco helps.  
  
Author's notes: I think I was about to sleep when this plot bunny hit me. Thanks to Vivica for beta-ing it. *squee*  
  
The Mirror and the Afterlife  
  
Harry Potter was never seen without this mirror. No one even dared to ask why he always had it with him. No one even tried to touch it. Not even Hermione, Ron or Professor Dumbledore dared to ask Harry to keep this mirror in a safe place. No, Harry liked this particular mirror to be with him at all times. He always placed it inside his robes, near his chest, to make sure that it was with him and safe.  
  
They had gone back to Hogwarts and were in their sixth year. Harry had a hard time accepting the fact that his beloved godfather, Sirius Black, was gone. Harry, who barely felt loved, was all alone again.  
  
He became bitter and cold. He didn't talk to his friends. He ignored their pleas and stopped entertaining them. After a while, they left him alone because they knew that if they ever tried to make conversation with him, he would just look at them coldly, and walk away.  
  
He had also stopped associating with his fellow D.A. students. He stopped attending Quidditch training. He stopped caring when people talked about him behind his back. He didn't even bother to fight with Malfoy or with anyone who dared to ridicule him. He was no longer bothered by people surrounding him. He only had one reason why he was at Hogwarts, and that reason was to know more about this mirror.  
  
He had been obsessing about this mirror, a gift from Sirius, for quite some time now. He was always in the Restricted Section, searching for ways for this mirror to reach the other side.  
  
He wanted to talk to Sirius again. To make sure that he was still alive and would come back. His goal was to bring him back, because he wouldn't know what to do with himself if Sirius was really gone. This mirror was the only link he had with him.  
  
Madame Pince didn't bother to ask Harry for a permission slip when he was in the Restricted Section. Professor Dumbledore told her not to disturb Harry when he was using the library. Pince was about to argue about the unfairness but Dumbledore told her to let him be. So, she just nodded quietly and left his office.  
  
~~~~  
  
It was already midnight when he found him in the farthest corner of the Restricted Section. Potter had his right arm lying on an open book on the table, while his head was resting on it. He could tell that Potter was sleeping. He must have been exhausted. He had been following him every night and watched him sleep.  
  
He wanted to talk him, to touch him or even ruffle his hair and tell him to give up. It pained him to see Harry like this. He knew how it hurt to have a loved one gone forever, but it was different for him. It was different because his father was in Azkaban and still alive, while Harry didn't even have the chance to be with his godfather.  
  
His father had told him about the battle Harry had been in. He also told Draco how Black died. His mother was sad to learn that her cousin was dead. Draco was shocked to learn that his uncle was Harry's godfather.  
  
Draco had enough. He wanted to help him. Harry would be surprised at first, of course, but he already knew what to tell him when he asked that question. He had been rehearsing his explanations and answers over and over in his mind and he had finally decided that tonight, he would tell Harry that he didn't need to suffer because he would help him find a way to talk to his godfather. Even though it sounded ridiculous in his head, he just couldn't sit back and watch as Harry grew numb and cold.  
  
He slowly crept towards the table where Harry was. There was only one candle lit near the table for Harry's use. He reached out for his head; he wanted to run his fingers through his hair, but he resisted. Instead, he slowly placed his right hand on Harry's shoulder and shook him gently.  
  
"Huh?" was all Harry said. He reached out for his glasses, which were sitting near the mirror, and put it on. He looked up and saw the person who had woken him.  
  
"Malfoy." Barely spoken; more like a whisper and a sigh all together. But Draco was grateful and pleased.  
  
No one had heard Harry's voice since they had come back to Hogwarts, except for Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. His friends tried to get him to talk but he distanced himself and left without a word. When Professor Snape tried to provoke Harry in Potions class, Harry just looked at him with a pure coldness in his eyes that made the Potions Master divert his attention to someone else.  
  
"You can't sleep here, you know," his voice was stern but spoken with care.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"I'm doing my rounds." He flashed his Prefect badge to Harry, which was barely visible because of the poor lighting in the Library. "I have to take forty points from you, Potter. To remind you that just because you're the Boy-Who-Lived, doesn't mean you can break the school rules and be invincible."  
  
Harry took a deep breath. He nodded and stood up. He closed the book and took the mirror that was sitting beside it. He placed it inside his robes and walked away, without looking or talking to Draco.  
  
Draco took a deep breath, out of frustration, and closed his eyes. He was already close to telling Potter that he wanted to help him. It pained him to see him like that. Like he was cold as winter and no one could warm him.  
  
When he opened his eyes and relaxed his breathing, he looked at the books that were scattered on the table. He checked the titles of each book and they were all linked to two subjects: Mirror and the Afterlife.  
  
~~~~  
  
"What are you going to do this evening?" Goyle asked Draco, during dinner in the Great Hall.  
  
"I'm going to do my rounds tonight," he said, watching Granger try to make Harry talk.  
  
Harry didn't respond. He continued to eat quietly. Granger gave up and went back to talking to Parvati.  
  
"You did your rounds last night and the night before. Why do you have to do it every night?"  
  
He looked at him, annoyed. "What is it with you and my Prefect duties?"  
  
Goyle dropped his gaze and muttered. "Nothing. I- I just want to know when can we hang out again, that's all."  
  
"Yeah," Crabbe joined the conversation. "You already missed the induction of the first years and there was a letter from your father that you haven't opened yet."  
  
"I'll get to that." He returned his eyes to the Gryffindor table and saw Harry get up and exit the Great Hall. "I have to go." He stood up, straightened his robes and walked gracefully and slowly towards the exit.  
  
By the time he caught up with Harry, he was already seated at the same spot as the night before . Draco noticed that he was looking intently at the mirror. He was whispering something but Draco couldn't hear the words.  
  
He crept slowly towards him, avoided the light and hid near the bookshelf where Harry was.  
  
"Sirius," whispered Harry as he stroked the mirror with his forefinger. "I'm here to listen. Please talk to me. I missed you so much."  
  
Draco felt guilty at first when he heard Harry's pleading voice. He looked down at his shoes and felt pity towards him. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but he just wanted to help him. And besides, he couldn't help himself. He was already drawn to him.  
  
"I know you're safe," Harry whispered again. "I just need a sign or something that would make me believe that you're still alive. Please Sirius," he choked, trying to hold his sobs, "I need to know you're alive!"  
  
But nothing happened. He tried dozens of spells that he had found for reaching out for people's souls, but none of them worked. He was very much exhausted by the research. Still, he was determined. He had to know. He needed confirmation that Sirius was okay and would be back .  
  
He placed the mirror on the table slowly and looked around the Library. He noticed that Madam Pince had already left, leaving him all alone again. He didn't care about this, actually. He preferred to be left alone.  
  
He took off his glasses and stared at the mirror in front of him. After a deep breath, he cried.  
  
Draco had seen Harry cry before. It wasn't a loud cry or a girlish sobbing. No, it was a pain-release cry. A cry that when you hear it, you want to offer your soul so that he would be normal again. Draco always wanted to comfort Harry when he cried. He wanted to take the pain away from him so he wouldn't suffer anymore. He would even ask Harry to torture him just so he could release his pain. All he wanted was for Harry to be normal again.  
  
He pondered for a minute, hearing Harry's soft sobs and sniffs. He knew that Harry would hate him if he talked to him now, while he was crying, but it had been enough and action had to be taken.  
  
He slowly walked towards Harry, making sure that his shoes and footsteps made no noise. He ran his hand through his hair and wetted his lips. When he was behind Harry, he cleared his throat.  
  
Harry jumped and looked around. He was surprised to see Malfoy again, staring at him with concern in his eyes. He started to wipe his tears and stood up.  
  
"No, sit down, Potter," Draco pleaded.  
  
Harry furrowed his eyebrows and sniffed. He gave Malfoy a look and sat back in his chair.  
  
"May I?" Draco pointed to the chair that was sitting beside Harry's. Harry continued to wipe his tears and nodded.  
  
"I'm not here to ridicule you, Potter," he said, as he sat down facing Harry. "I'm here to help you." He held his hand to stop Harry from speaking. "Let me finish before you say anything, Potter."  
  
When he had Harry's approval to go on, he cleared his throat and licked his lips, "As I have said, I want to help you. I know that you're trying to contact your godfather and the only possible way would be using Dark Arts." He paused, anticipating a snort or a chuckle. No response from the Gryffindor, so he continued. "And I would assume that you already know," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest, "that I'm the only person who has enough knowledge about it."  
  
Harry's eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you want to help me, Malfoy?" he asked. "Why do you care?"  
  
Draco took a deep breath, trying hard not to snap at him. "Because he was family. I just found out that he was my mother's cousin."  
  
"Is!" Harry shouted and his voice echoed in the Library. "He 'is' still alive!"  
  
Draco looked at his hands and nodded, "Yes, he is still alive, Potter."  
  
"Your mother hated Sirius," Harry's voice went calm, "and I would assume that you hated him as well. Didn't you know that he's an escaped convict? A murderer?" he said sternly.  
  
Draco closed his eyes and took another deep breath. 'This is going to take a while,' he thought. He slowly raised his head and looked directly at Harry's green eyes. "I just want to know if he's okay. Mother was sad when father told her about what happened. I'm doing this for her actually."  
  
"Do you honestly think that I would believe all your crap intentions?" he spat at him. "What happened to the mocking Malfoy that I knew? If I remember correctly, you threatened me when your father got sacked."  
  
Draco could see the anger and hurt in Harry's eyes. He stared at it as he tried to calm the fury building inside him. 'If he's testing me to crack, I must control my temper.'  
  
"All I'm saying, Potter," he said gently, "is that I am offering to help you talk to your godfather, my uncle, again. Now," he stood up, still looking at Harry's eyes, "let me know if you want it. I'll give you until tomorrow to decide."  
  
Draco turned and was about to leave. Harry stood quickly and grabbed his shoulder to stop him.  
  
"Malfoy, wait!" Harry whispered.  
  
Draco stood still. He closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of Harry's hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes for a while as he felt his insides shiver. He gently twitched his lips into a small smile.  
  
When he turned around, Harry removed his hands. He tried to keep a straight face as he slowly raised his eyes to meet Harry's. Harry was looking at him deeply. Trying to figure out if he was really sincere or not. He looked into his grey eyes and Draco held his stare.  
  
There was a decent amount of light reflecting on Harry's face and he could see the dried tears and the dark circles underneath his eyes. 'Nevertheless,' Draco thought, 'he is still breathtaking.'  
  
"Yes, Potter? Have you decided?" he spoke calmly as he held his breath, waiting for his answer.  
  
Harry looked down and nodded.  
  
~~~~  
  
It had been weeks since the night they had made their agreement. Draco helped Harry, as promised. They both snuck away from their friends and they'd been meeting in the Restricted Section a couple of hours before midnight. No one knew about this and neither of them cared. Harry didn't tell his friends that Malfoy was helping him and Draco just said that he had to do his Prefect duties.  
  
One night, as they were doing research in the Library, Harry quickly stood up and looked at Draco.  
  
"I think I got something," he exclaimed.  
  
Draco looked up at him. "What is it?"  
  
Harry carried the book and placed it on top of the book Draco was reading. He pointed at the text on the book, gesturing for Draco to read it.  
  
Draco read it. It was a dark magic spell that could locate a lost soul. He looked up at Harry. "Potter, did you read the rest of the text?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry said irritably. "This is the one that we're looking for?"  
  
"I know it's about locating lost souls, but did you see this part?" He pointed to the next page.  
  
Harry read it and his brows were furrowed. "I don't understand. Why does it need a potion? It's just a spell, right?"  
  
"Potter," Draco sighed. "This is the spell. This one," he pointed at the next page, "is the potion. The potion needs the spell for it to work. And see here," he said as he skimmed though the list of the ingredients. "We need his blood."  
  
"Damn it!" Harry shouted as he sat down on his chair again. He buried his face on his hands. "So, it's useless, as we don't have any way to get his blood."  
  
Draco looked at him. "I believe so." He felt pity for the poor boy. He tried to resist the temptation to hug him. Before Draco could speak, Harry removed his hands and looked at him.  
  
"I'm so tired of this," he hung his head. "I just want to rest, or forget that moment... when... he..." he sighed.  
  
"Potter," Draco spoke softly, "do you still want to go on or not?"  
  
Harry didn't look up. He just breathed deeply over and over again.  
  
"I understand if you want to sto-"  
  
"Malfoy," Harry cut him. "Why are you really helping me?" He looked up.  
  
Draco quickly avoided Harry's stare and looked at the book he was reading. Restraining himself from blushing.. "Like I said," he swallowed, "I'm doing this for my mother."  
  
"That's a load of crap, you know," Harry smirked at him. "Why? Just because I was sad and broken, you didn't torment me with your pathetic mockery and wanted to help me? So, when I'm done and over with, we'll continue our personal battle?"  
  
Draco looked up. "Why can't you just accept the fact that I want to help you?"  
  
"Because," Harry crossed his arms and looked intently at Draco. "I know that you're hiding something. You, of all people that I know, don't help people like me without any payback."  
  
Before Draco could say anything, Harry spoke again. "Did Voldemort ask you to do this? Are you trying to formulate a plan so that when I'm down and weak, you will attack me?"  
  
"What the bloody hell are you talking about, Potter?" Draco shouted. "I did this because, I-"  
  
"You what?" Harry huffed.  
  
"I just wanted to help, that's all," he said tonelessly.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Kind of hard to believe, you know."  
  
"Fine," Draco stood up. "Believe all you want, Potter. I'm out of here. Damn!" He angrily took his bag from the table. "You really do think the world revolves around you, don't you?" he scoffed, and exited the Library.  
  
Draco was furious at Harry. He didn't care if he was making noise by angrily stomping his feet as he walked. He had just turned left towards the staircases when he heard Harry calling out for him.  
  
"Malfoy, wait!"  
  
Draco stopped. He didn't know why, but he automatically stopped. He hated the power Potter had over him. Like he would do whatever Potter asked him to. He closed his eyes and waited, not turning back.  
  
"Malfoy, I..." Harry said, standing closely behind Draco. So close that he felt Harry's breath on the back of his neck.  
  
"What?" he said helplessly and tried not to shiver from the lingering mist of his breath.  
  
"I- uhm, I'm sorry." He bowed his head.  
  
He opened his eyes and turned around. He saw his head hung. "What did you say?" he asked softly.  
  
Harry looked up, "I'm sorry. I- I didn't know why I said th- those things. I- I'm really sorry, Malfoy."  
  
Draco breathed heavily. "It's okay. Just." He ran his hand through his hair. "Just trust me on this, will you?"  
  
Harry smiled. "I will. To tell you the truth, I think I'm kind of ready to face it."  
  
"Face what, Potter?"  
  
"Face that he's really gone." He looked at the floor.  
  
"Oh," Draco spoke as his voice faltered. He hadn't expected this to be over so soon.  
  
Harry looked up and Draco noticed that tears were building again in his eyes. "But, can I ask you something? Actually, I need a favor."  
  
"What is it?" he looked at him curiously.  
  
Harry opened the clasp of his robe, took out the mirror and gave it to Draco. "I need you to hold on to this, if you really mean to help me. I- I don't think I can bear to see it yet. But I don't want you to destroy it. I've decided to keep that away from me for a while, to help me, you know." He paused. "And when I'm ready to accept that he's really gone, I will take it back."  
  
Draco took the mirror and looked at it. For the first time in his life, someone had trusted him, and it was not just someone, it was Harry who trusted him, with the object that he held so dearly to him.  
  
"Why me?" he asked, still looking at the mirror.  
  
"You believed in me."  
  
Draco looked up. "What?"  
  
Harry wetted his lips. "You believed, that in due time, I would accept the fact that Sirius is gone, that I have to be strong in order to live, in order to fight."  
  
He looked again to the mirror. He saw his reflection looking back at him. "What made you say that?"  
  
"Uhm," Harry shifted his feet. "Well, you were the only person who really wanted to help me. And-"  
  
"Really?" Draco cut him off and saw those shimmering green eyes again.  
  
Harry nodded. "You never gave up. I mean, kind of hard to believe," he grinned. "But I appreciated that. I'm sorry if I gave you a hard time."  
  
Draco smiled. "Well, I will hold on to this. I promise."  
  
Harry ran his hand through his hair. "Thanks," he grinned again.  
  
"Anytime," he grinned back.  
  
They were looking at each other for a while. Harry's eyes mesmerized Draco when it hit him; he could tell him why he wanted to help him in the first place.  
  
He took a deep breath, ready to tell the truth, when Harry suddenly smacked his head with his hand. "Ooh, I forgot my bag in the Library." He rubbed his forehead. "Well, see you later and thanks again, Malfoy," he said as he grinned. He turned around and sprinted towards the Library.  
  
Draco took a deep breath. He had almost had his chance. Almost told the truth. Almost. He shook his head in regret and looked at the mirror. It was a while before he moved.  
  
~~~~  
  
Draco was strolling around the lake. It had been three weeks since Harry had given him the mirror for his safekeeping.  
  
After that incident, Draco kept his promise. He held on to the mirror like Harry did. It was always inside his robes, close to his chest.  
  
As he was about to reach for the mirror, he heard a swooshing sound that made him jerk his head up. He saw someone on a broomstick flying past him. He watched quietly as the person lazily zoomed around the lake. He just wished that the person wouldn't see him and would leave immediately. He let out a sigh as the figure glided in the air then flew away.  
  
He looked around the area, to make sure no one was following him or watching him. This was the only opportunity for him to gaze into the mirror, since he couldn't do it in his room. No one knew that he had Harry's mirror. And he knew that Potter hadn't told his friends about the favor.  
  
When he saw no one, he slowly reached for the mirror inside his robes. He looked at it and saw his reflection. He was astonished that it was so clear and very calm. It was like he was drawn into it and wanted to reach in.  
  
He remembered Harry stroking the mirror, so he placed his forefinger lightly on the mirror. He noticed that it didn't leave any marks from his finger as he carefully touched it and let his finger slowly slide down.  
  
"When you're ready, Harry," he whispered to the mirror. "When you've already accepted your loss," he spoke lightly as he ran his forefinger again, "I'll be-"  
  
"What?"  
  
Draco spun around, almost dropping the mirror, as he saw Harry, holding his broomstick. He was wearing his Quidditch uniform and he suddenly remembered that it was Gryffindor's practice tonight.  
  
Harry walked slowly towards Draco; his hand was on the middle of the broom, holding it vertically. "You'll be what?" he asked as he came closer.  
  
Draco looked at the mirror again; couldn't produce a single thought in his mind. He hasn't spoken to Harry since he had given him the mirror.  
  
"Nothing," he murmured. He looked up at him and was suddenly aware that Harry was standing in front of him. He felt his green eyes towering over him.  
  
He looked away, across the lake. "How are you?" he asked gently.  
  
"Fine." He sat beside Draco and placed his broom on the ground.  
  
Draco was aware that the air became still. He took a glance at Harry and noticed that he was looking intently at the mirror.  
  
He looked at the mirror when Harry spoke. "You didn't answer my question, Malfoy. Before I gave you the mirror."  
  
Draco looked at him. Harry was still looking at the mirror when he continued. "When I asked why you wanted to help me. To get over the death of my godfather." He met the gray eyes. "Why?"  
  
Draco was too absorbed looking into those green eyes. He just wanted to give in and tell the truth.  
  
"I..."  
  
Harry slightly inclined his head, giving him the signal to go on.  
  
"It's because..."  
  
His eyes shifted to his mouth. It was parted a bit. How he wanted to touch those lips, to taste it, to...  
  
"Draco?"  
  
He didn't know how long he stared at those slightly chapped lips. He quickly averted his eyes and gazed at Harry. Too shocked to say anything at the sudden use of his first name. Harry's voice lingered around him as he stared into those green eyes.  
  
"That's fine." He took the mirror from Draco's hand and placed it inside of his Quidditch robes. "You don't need to explain yourself." He looked across the lake. "I was about to send you an owl about the mirror but I saw you here." He shifted his gaze on the ground. "To tell you that I'm ready to take it back."  
  
"Oh." The only word he could produce at that moment. His hands felt cold as the mirror that he was holding was l taken from him. He looked down at his hands and clasped them. He was longing for the feel of it. He hadn't even had the chance to appreciate the its beauty.  
  
"Since I'm ready to take the mirror back," Harry suddenly interrupted, "you said that you'll be?"  
  
Draco, his hands still clasped, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was now or never.  
  
He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Harry, who had curiosity written all over his face. Draco noted Harry's features. How his face still glowed even after Quidditch practice.  
  
But then he thought that Harry might not be ready to know what he felt for him. After all, Harry had no idea about his passion for him.  
  
He felt a pain in his chest and averted his gaze. "Nothing," he whispered and sighed. "I forgot."  
  
Harry let out a, 'hmm' sound and stood up slowly. He bent to pick up his broom. "I guess I should be going." When Draco didn't respond. Harry turned his back and walked a few steps. He suddenly turned around. "Draco?"  
  
"Yes?" the blonde looked at him, anticipating the inevitable.  
  
Harry ran his hand through his hair and looked around. "When," he hesitated. "When you're ready, you know?" He sighed as he placed his broom on his shoulder. "Just let me know. I promise, I'll understand." He smiled.  
  
Draco nodded. He kept his eyes on Harry as the other boy turned his back and walked towards the castle.  
  
As he watched Harry, he wondered why he was calling him 'Draco' and what he meant when he said that he would understand.  
  
Then it hit him. He knows.  
  
The End 


End file.
